Category Archives: mad

At cross roads, if not the (hallowed) mid-life crisis.

“Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”
-E. L. Doctorow

Isn’t that how life is? We can only see a little stretch ahead of us at a time on life’s meandering road that we all travel on (with binoculars and maps and other paraphernalia). That too if we choose to move forward on the path( whatever it is and wherever it leads) as opposed to being rooted to the spot in indecision (which happens more often than one admits) until shoved(pushed will be kinder but a gentle push has lost its power in this generation of forced everything) in the proverbial right direction by people who care (or want to wash their hands off you for they absolutely cannot look at your woe is me avatar anymore). One is carried forward by the surge of the crowd all moving in the same direction(mind you the goals are different or so I’d like to think!). Towards death,one day closer to it. Towards the realization of dreams,one step closer to it.

If drawing a parallel between life and writing is easier said than done then how on earth can I call myself a writer.  Has that life  ship sailed ?  I hope not because I’m ready to run with my running shoes . And ipod in tow full of thought provoking songs.

Yeah, right.

See what I’m talking about? Kill me already.

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Chokher Bali is much more than a grain of sand !

A Grain Of Sand by Rabindranath Tagore
 What can I say about the book? I’m speechless, spell bound and God knows what else. Also my mouth was wide open in surprise many times during the book, which is pretty much equivalent to my jaw dropping to the floor. How do I feel? Oh that is difficult to answer because what I feel can’t be expressed in words (cliched yes but the truth nonetheless). I was mesmerized by the prose, reeling from the doings of the characters in it and overall just stuck in the gap between old and new worlds. Did I just write that? I suppose I did. This is why I don’t write book, movie or music reviews because I don’t really review it in the true sense of the word rather put up my jumbled thoughts on the matter (which is never even clear to me then how can it be clear to anyone else). Also, I end up gushing or hating (depends) and not saying anything important about it. Anyways there are people far more qualified than me to review so let’s leave it to them.

The book has given me loads of food for thought. I think I will be ruminating on it for ages. It made me  think- are we really modern ? After seeing the treatment and the dissection of  the psyche of women by Tagore during that time I’m not too certain of anything now. I already knew that he had a fine understanding about how a woman thinks and feels, I had gathered that from reading his lovely short stories. As everyone knows he was far far ahead of his time (my goodness, I really can’t get over it). He can give every modern author a run for his money.

This novel has lies, deception and so called illicit relationships that borders on scandalous but somehow it all feels natural. It was a page turner and totally unpredictable. Riveting. The emotional turmoil and the ministrations of all characters was so deftly expressed.It was nothing like I have read before. I had read many short stories and a poem( Upagupta)which I loved but this was the first novel I read by Tagore and I want more. I wonder how will it  feel to read it in Bengali, lovely I suppose more lyrical and more meaningful and the context more understandable. Sheer genius! I am looking forward to the movie version. I hope they don’t ruin it.

Two words-read it.

A Minor Incident

A Minor Incident by Badly Drawn Boy is a song I really like. The lyrics make sense and the tune is easy to latch on to. The scenario for which it is used in the movie is quite specific. Toni Collette plays Fiona, Marcus’s mother. The song is Fiona’s plea to Marcus (before she offs herself) to carry on living without her. And that she will be watching over him from up above the clouds(provided she goes to heaven). I first heard it in About a Boy which I found really endearing. Not many people agree with me on this but as per me it was one of the more mature performances of Hugh Grant.

The movie is fun to watch, has a good dose of tongue in cheek humour. The interactions of the worldly wise Marcus ( who’s twelve) with a thirty something, yet to grow up Will (played by Hugh Grant)who doesn’t work but goofs around and who has no real purpose in life except perhaps finding people to date and be totally unattached. The hassle free life is his goal and he manages to live that way most of the time till his life collides with Marcus. It’s what they bring to each others lives and how they are both changed and see a new way of life,the order of things, the way they view life, through each others prisms forever alters their world view.The dialogues are funny and Nick Hornby has to be given due credit because it is based on his  novel of the same name. I have read it and I liked it but somehow  I  liked the movie better than the book. I always try to read the book before seeing the movie if I know that the movie is based on a book but I didn’t know that this time around. May be I should read it again some time.
The movie begins with these  lines-
Will: All men are islands. And what’s more, this is the time to be one. This is an island age. A hundred years ago, for example, you had to depend on other people. No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or home espresso makers. As a matter of fact they didn’t have anything cool. Whereas now you can make yourself a little island paradise. With the right supplies, and more importantly the right attitude, you can become sun-drenched, tropical, a magnet for young Swedish tourists. 
It ends on a very different note. Lemme go and watch it again. You guys have a great Sunday.
Cheers !!

Stupid is as stupid does – Forrest Gump

OK so here I am. Back after ages ! It feels that way even though it hasn’t been quite that long (Theory of relativity anyone?). Either way does it really matter? It’s just enough that I’m back. So the question is what I have been doing with my time? I have two lovely excuses- one, I was ill. Two, I was depressed because of it, which, literally made me unfit of even thinking coherently. Though that’s stretching it a bit (I am not known as a drama queen without reason but that’s also where I get my sensitivity from and also microanalysing stuff!) it’s the honest truth. I can hear my friends scream psychosomatic disorder because of the things going on in the department which I admit was a blow to my self esteem and ego. It doesn’t help one bit when one feels useless on top being close to being an invalid(that’s an exaggeration). There’s no use talking about dignity, not now at least. One thing I do have is a clear conscience. Ergo, sleeping isn’t a problem , which is a relief.

I have been ill for quite a while now. Should I say I am on the path to recovery? Hell no, I don’t want to jinx myself. Oh laugh all you can. I never believed that either but the words have a strange way of getting right back at you, so in this fragile state I am not going to risk it. Although I’m no stranger to chronic illnesses one never does get quite used to it, the tragedy and the monotony of it.  I really wish I could put “it” at the back of my mind (like it’s nothing but a walk in the park with some lovely shoes on to protect my feet) and live unchanged, unscathed by battle scars so timidly fought. I so wish I had been gallant but don’t expect knightly behaviour from me, not when I am at my lowest ebb (really lousy explanation I know). Every little thing changes you and shapes you into being who you are and the process is never-ending and compelling and directional. You learn, you live and you grow and that’s that.

 Illness compels me to think more deeply than usual and I tend to get philosophical (more than the usual craziness). All the big questions start haunting(or is it hunting) me (since I can’t employ my usual devices and run away) and I almost suffocate with the need to answer them. This time it’s time, the final time to GROW UP. There won’t be another call. Either I’m on it fully or dangling off the edges, holding on for dear life or the plane leaves without me. Childhood has long passed and so have the teenage years. And I’m about to be done with university and step into the REAL WORLD (as people keep reminding me every single day). Gee am I that dumb and naïve? Seems that is what most people think( I wish I could care a flying fig about what they thought about me). Yes I’m stupid (at least the blog title is justified now).

What are the questions ,you ask? Nothing, just basic stuff.How far have I come? What have I achieved? What is my contribution to the world? Am I good at something?  What is the meaning of my life? What is my role? What does it all mean? Where does it all lead ,if it leads anywhere in the first place?  What is the connecting link? Is this supposed to make sense in the end, all the strings tied up neatly and knots removed?
I did try to write but who the hell wants to read all this, a mass of jumbled intangible thoughts? Hence, no post for months and add to that I have taken to meandering more than is usual (read acceptable). I start somewhere and end up completely different and in between touch some points which become the fodder of many other independent posts (or so I would like to believe so please humour me). So in the end there’s a lot of mish- mash and I end up not that satisfied with “the treatment of the matter and the way it is presented” and so it stays ( read languishes )in the drafts folder and pending till I decide it should be worked upon so that it sees the light of the day, which it seldom does.
Doesn’t make any sense, does it?
P.S. The drafts folder is overflowing so I have taken up the gargantuan and arduous task of emptying it in this life time. Alas, readers bear with me.
P.P.S.- If you don’t already know, the quote “stupid is as stupid does” is from Forrest Gump.

HARRY WHO??

Hello blog people 🙂
Uh umm I know it’s not very apt or polite.I dare say me even giving this a second thought, it’s her influence!!!!Otherwise who cares to be grammatically correct and use just the correct word for every little situation, duhh not me!Anyways what else should I address you guys as???Should it even be plural?
And who is this you ask?Pssst. It’s me her super cool sister 😀 She has mentioned me quite a few times ,so y’all should be familiar with me, I suppose(looks around expectantly for applause).Let’s get on,shall we…
An obvious observation-I dare say nobody reads her precious blog ,why else would it wear such a desolate look,eh? But the background is blue and its sparse and without frills.It’s her alright.”Keep it simple,silly!” ,for me she got there long before Ranbir Kapoor did (sorry RK).
Now to the topic.I can’t believe its Tuesday already.I can break out into a song and dance routine right now(totally spontaneous and unrehearsed but fab all the same =)). But I’d better not lest the fat cat wake up and raise hell!!Lately I have taken to calling her troll and it irritates the shit out of her.Nowadays she’s being called MANTAL Boy(Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara anyone?).Evil laugh!!!
Three more days  till Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part-2 releases in cinemas.I can barely contain myself.No point in asking me if I’m a die hard HP fan cos there’s no doubt about that.I.AM.NOT.A FAN.But I don’t hate the books,they were good but nothing life changing.Maybe it might have been different for me if I had read it the way my sister did and not in the span of a couple of weeks.I just read it because all the guys in my class had read it(peer pressure I tell you,makes you do the stupidest of things)and the books were already there,courtesy my sister.
I just had to beg,borrow and convince her to part with her precious books.She was very suspicious at my sudden “interest” in HP and kept a close watch on me.She still thinks that I buy her “Oh I came to see which page you are at?Isn’t it exciting?Did you notice how … “And there she goes again,launching into an impossibly detailed and verbose explanation(without even being asked) ,speaking faster if it’s even humanly possible(she’s the fastest talker I know) and ending at a obvious point(according to her not me)which my  puny brain couldn’t possibly comprehend even if she had told it slowly and in a normal voice as opposed to the shrilly voice she shoots off in, eyes glinting with pleasure and something otherworldly.
She’s already gone mad.She spent all Sunday practically on Mugglenet and YouTube , reading up and listening to all the buzz, and watching interviews and the premiere with headphones on!!!!!I won’t even go near obsessive reading of Fanfics and other crazy stuff!
When I had been consoling myself that all the madness will be over with when the final movie is out ,J.K.Rowling had to go and bring out POTTERMORE(believe me I have heard enough).Now its like HP forever.She’s in 7th heaven and I’m plotting my escape by immersing myself in law.Yep,you heard right.I’m going to go to Law School!!!What can I say,desperate times call for weird solutions! Mama and Papa really indulge her (which obviously I don’t approve of ) and practically coo at her ,oh she’so adorable,their darling daughter ,reading so many books that she forgets that there exists a world outside of it (where’s there’s no magic but beauty still abounds)and living in a fantasy dream world which runs according to her rules and diktats.Where magic is a reality!!!And whenever she’s in the so called real world ,something inevitably goes wrong and she goes flying back into the escape and comfort her world offers from the grim reality she can’t stomach.
Gimme a break!!Grow up kiddo and grow your own wings to fly.
Earth to sis,the real world is waiting with arms wide open to envelope you in a bone-crushing hug.You have to give it a chance…