What does she keep scribbling in me all the times? Not that I’m complaining (in fact I love it) I’m always there for her, after all that’s my job.Though the world considers us to have no feelings (being inanimate and all) I feel every stab of pain, and every whoop of happiness by the words she chooses to write in me.
I like it when she takes her time and writes lovingly in me caressing the pages and feeling each and every word. The cool handwriting, the light slant of the pen shows me that she’s happy and good memories are being recorded. When the writing is irregular and sloppy and too much pressure is put on my delicate pages and it’s more scribbling than writing, I know she’s troubled and something bad has happened, which she is letting out of her system the only way she can. I feel sad when she gets like this but I’m relieved that she has me to help her get through any trying time in her life. She goes on and on for pages, and I know the end is near when her grip is not that hard and she writes at a slower pace, steadily empty of all negativity and almost always ending on a hopeful note. That’s one of the things I like best about her. She will start out a cynic and end a dreamer which is the only thing definite about her. All other things keep changing. She’s really mutable. A human yo yo would be more apt. One day she’s on cloud nine and the next day she’s down in the dumps, both because of the very same incident. What changes, then, is her perspective which is inextricably linked with her mood, the prism through which she views things and which colours everything. I really wish she’d be more optimistic and also more pragmatic. I worry about her but I know as long as she writes she will be just fine because that is the way she deals.
I wish she would write about her good days more. Not that there aren’t many good days but that she writes very few sentences about them (in comparison to the bad days) and ends them very soon. I wish I could change that.Not because I want to hear about good things more,I just want her to have vivid memories of good things so that she can go back to them later, and relive them. They will be her guiding light, her beacon, her light at the end of the tunnel or her silver lining, whatever you choose to call it, in the tough dark times and bleak moments. And of course it is the only thing that’s worth its weight in platinum when warm feelings of nostalgia envelope her.
More on her idiosyncrasies later.